Some great quotes from Seinfeld.

"Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm askin'. This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny."
-George

So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety-five percent of the population is undateable?"
"Undateable!"
"Then how are all these people getting together?"
"Alcohol."
- Elaine and Jerry

"You want to know why you can't go in front first? I'll tell you why. Because it signals a breakdown in the social order. Chaos. It reduces us to jungle law."
- Newman


"Who are you gonna eat to survive?"
"Kramer."
"So fast? What about me?"
"No."
"Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump, juicy."
"Kramer's got more muscle, higher protein content. It's better for you."
"Well, I would eat you."
"That's very nice, I guess."
"I still don't see why you wouldn't eat me. I'm your best friend."
"Look, if other people are having some, I'll try you."
"Thank you."
- George and Jerry,

"I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot... You're toiling in virtual anonymity."
- George

"Tippy toe! Tippy toe!"
- George, warning Jerry

"Listen to me. We're always sitting here. I'm always helping you with your girl problems, you're always helping me with my girl problems. Where do we end up?"
"Here."
"Exactly. Because neither one of us can handle a woman all by ourselves."
"I'm trying."
"I've tried. We don't have it. But maybe the two of us, working together, at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man."
"Then each of us would only have to be like a half-man. That sounds about right."
- George and Jerry

"The Summer of George"